


The Ficlet Collection

by spoky



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-11-13 07:01:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoky/pseuds/spoky
Summary: DISCLAIMER: This story is RPF, meaning that I use the star image of real people to tell a completely fictional story. It's not meant to offend or insult anyone. Please do not share my fiction with the people I write about on social media or otherwise. Thank you. (For full disclaimer, please see my profile.)This is my collection of RPDR -ficlets and -drabbles. Because why not?So every "chapter" will be little different (pairing, genre, rating, POV, everything and anything).Sorry if it's confusing and boring and stupid. I think it's none of those thing, I think it's fun. ^^





	1. Sharon / Alaska : “I gave you your chance, and you just used it to stab me in the back.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff with a promise of smut

 

Alaska glanced down at the cards. If she played this right, she had a slight chance of- WHAT?!

She turned to Sharon in a mixture of outrage and disbelief.

“How dare you?! After everything we’ve been through?!”

Sharon smirked and took a better position at the arm chair. She licked her plump lips and smiled like a cat at a cream cup.

“Come on babe, the briefs.”

Alaska squinted at Sharon in annoyance. Sharon knew she liked to wear socks, mainly because the floor was fucking freezing, but also because she didn’t particularly like the shape of her big toes. That did not, however, mean that she’d rather take off her briefs than the socks. She liked her testicles warm, thank you very much. She glanced at Jinkx, who was clearly avoiding her gaze.

“Jinkxyyy,” Alaska whined quietly: “Please, once more? One of those skip cards?”

Jinkx threw Alaska a sarcastic smirk and with a raised eyebrow asked: “And where were you, when I wanted to keep my t-shirt on?”

Alaska figured Jinkx had a point. She really had screwer the ginger over couple of rounds ago. But it wasn’t her fault! Sharon and Willam had been ganging up on them! She glanced back to Sharon and worried her lower lip.

“But it’s so cold,” she drawled and Sharon snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Strip,” Sharon commanded firmly. The tone went straight to Alaska’s cock and she blinked in surprise. Did Sharon find the situation arousing? In that case…

“Come on Jinkx, babe, help me out?” Alaska drawled, keeping an eye at Sharon, knowing that if the man really found the situation arousing, she’d bounce before Alaska actually had to strip. The only thing Alaska had to do, was to keep whining, beg to be punished. She’d so much rather get dragged to the bedroom and get fucked senseless than strip in front of Jinkx and Willam, both of which would just make fun of her shaved genitalia. Moreover, the cut above her penis hurt. It wasn’t funny! She doubted Willam would see it that way.

“I gave you a chance, and you used it to stab me in the back,” Jinks reasoned and turned to look away from Alaska.

“But I’m so cold,” Alaska whined and pouted. It was only seconds after, that Sharon grabbed her arm and dragged her into the bedroom.

Willam threw her cards on the floor in annoyance and sighed.

“Do you ever get the feeling that they use us, and this game, as foreplay?”

Jinkx nodded. There certainly was a possibility. 


	2. Naomi / Kimchi : “Did it ever occur to you that you’re hurting me too?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff

“OUCH.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not! You’re not stretching the skin enough!”

“I’m the queen of makeup. What ever I do, I do correctly. Now shut up, and let me finish.”

“OU! That really hurts!”

“Just picture yourself on Hawaii.”

“AU!”

“Did it ever occur to you that you’re hurting me too?”

“How,  _ how _ am I hurting you?!  _ You _ are the one that is waxing  _ my _ legs with self-made experimental recipe of sugar wax!!”

“I hurt when I see my loved ones in pain, the emotional torture is hell.” 

Naomi stared at Kim for a moment before slapping her on her shoulder with the magazine she happened to be holding. 

“Ouch!”

“Didn’t hurt at all. I guess I don’t really love you then, huh?” 

“Bitch.”

Kim was more careful with the following strip and Naomi smirked.

“This recipe sucks.”


	3. Sharon / Alaska : “What? Does that feel good?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

I lean him up against the edge of the double-sink counter and catch his eyes in the mirror.  
I put my arms around his chest, admiring his lean, lanky body. He’s not muscular, skeletal actually, thanks to the poor nutrition choices he makes chronically, always reaching for the back of cigarettes, or the vodka, rather than something I could label as “food”.

I’m amazed at how aroused I get just by looking at him. In comparison to him I look broad, masculine, dominant -- even if he’s couple of inches taller. I don’t mind his height, especially not when he bows down to kiss me, crouching his shoulders, making sure I don’t have to rise to my tiptoes. He’s eager to please.

“What? Does that feel good?”

He nods with a groan.

I reach down to stroke his penis. I play with his testicles and tease his ear by giving it a lick.  
When he’s ready, he gives me a sign by arching his back and pushing his buttocks against me. I work my cock into him from behind.  
As I fuck him in front of the mirror, in a hotel room we wouldn't have afforded last year, I watch as his face relaxes as he starts to enjoy being penetrated. His cock gets harder and flaps against the sink with a soft thud every time I thrust into him.  
I’m consumed by his extraordinary allure and watch him being fucked by a nearly invisible lover, as I’m standing exactly behind him and the mirror thus fails to reflect a lot of me. First time in months we ejaculate simultaneously, me inside him, and he releases a chain of profanities to accompany the sperm he shoots in strips onto the sparkling white counter top. It reminds me of modern art.


	4. Sharon / Alaska : “You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breakup angst, Cory POV

He’s sitting exactly in the same spot where I left him in the morning. I know I’m not supposed to care, but I do. It’s not a very masculine thing to feel, but just looking at him makes me want to curl into a ball, hide under a blanket and cry.

He looks absolutely miserable - and smells bad. I don’t know how long he’s gone without a shower, but his odor reaches me six feet away. I don’t think he’s sleeping either, based on the dark circles around his swollen eyes. He’s not even trying to hide his misery and I’ve given him three days to wallow in self-pity before I’m going to kick his skinny butt out of that chair he’s seized. My favourite chair. The chair I want to sit in after work and have a beer. He has 15 hours left of the 72 and his behavior is getting worse, not better. I doubt he has any plans to snap out of the toxic pattern he’s developed. He doesn’t know I’ve put a time limit on his wallowing. Someone has to.

He sighs and even the blanket he’s wrapped around himself looks fed up with his self-torture. I know he’s hurting, but scrolling through the past, one picture and video at a time cannot be the answer. I doubt he has eaten anything since I force fed him some toast in the morning. I roll my eyes at him behind his back and try to keep my attitude in check.

“You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.”

“Fuck off Cory.”

I’m not surprised by the answer or his whiny tone. I know that he was, is?, in love with this Needles-character, but I’m glad it’s over. Of course I’m not going to tell him that, not now, possibly not ever. Honestly though, I never understood what he saw in that guy. Justin’s an alright looking man, nice, polite, talented, driven... Shouldn’t be too hard to find a man that compliments those characteristics rather than dampens them down? Or maybe it is, how should I know? 

His quiet sniffling draws me out of my thoughts and I see him wipe a tear away from his cheek. I glance at my watch and suppress the urge to slap him. He has 14 hours and 25 minutes.


	5. Rolaskatox : “There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendship.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> promise of smut, nothing more

 

“Fuck! Stand there. Don’t. Move.”

 

Willam glanced over her shoulder to Alaska who was trying to hide behind her, which given their difference in height was delusional on her part. She turned her eyes to the direction Alaska was clearly trying not to look at, and spotted Detox and Roxxxy. 

 

“Bitch, don’t tell me you still haven’t sorted out the All Stars crap?”

 

“Roxxxy is fine, Detox is the problem.”

 

“ _ You’re _ the problem,” Willam snorted and lifted up her hand. “HEY! Whores! Over here!”

 

Alaska smacked Willam’s shoulder and tried to pretend that she hadn’t tried to hide.

 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Detox sneered, giving Willam a hug whilst ignoring Alaska.

Roxxxy bit her lip in amusement. The angry electronic charge between Detox and Alaska hadn’t calmed down one bit since the filming of All Stars 2. On paper they had made up, Alaska had apologised, Detox had accepted. They’d given each other a hug worthy of PhiPhi and Alyssa and moved on. Meaning of course that no one had moved on at all. 

 

“I know right! So  _ funny! _ ” Willam sing-songed, not meaning her words even the tiny amount appropriate for a sarcasm. 

 

“Let’s do shots!” Willam announced and Roxxxy agreed. This Detox Alaska-situation clearly required tequila. 

 

It was a couple of hours later, all of them supporting a state of 'happy tipsy', when Roxxxy had finally gotten enough of Detox and Alaska avoiding each other. She had to say  _ something _ .

 

“Girls, there’s been some real friction in our friend group lately,” Roxxxy started.

 

“- and I suggest an orgy to save our friendship!” Willam finished for her. 

 

“Like, I’d like to come, and I  _ will come _ , but not with you. I got this trade arrangement,” she continued. “But this Laskatox situation is not going away with some small talk, trust me,” she finished and gave them a meaningful look over the rim of her cocktail glass.

 

Roxxxy could feel the tension as Detox met Alaska’s eyes for the first time in the entire evening. What was surprising that they seemed to agree. 

 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you can’t spell Paypal,” Detox said quietly.

 

Roxxy could see Alaska swallow before she downed the rest of her cocktail and stood up. 

 

“Let’s go then.”

 

Detox followed Alaska’s example and the pair started to move towards the exit. 

 

Roxxxy was looking at Willam in utter disbelief, when suddenly someone tapped her on the shoulder. Detox. 

 

“You coming?” Detox asked and Roxxxy opened her mouth for a reply. Nothing came out. She glanced at Willam. 

 

“Go on,” Willam cackled. “You sure as fuck aren’t coming with me!”

 

Detox cocked an eyebrow at Roxxxy, who nodded in awe. 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” she rushed to say and downed her own drink. “I’m coming.” 


	6. Violet / Katya : "Forget the douche. He’s a dick. He’s a dickdouche."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breakup angst + promise of smut

Katya is staring into space and lifts a fifth cigarette in row to her lips. She had really given the concept a chance. She had committed to the relationship. She had fucking talked about him in her shows! She had done everything “right”. Whatever that fucking meant. And it still hadn’t worked out. 

Trixie had no idea what she was on about. There was no such thing as love. There was just casual sex and self-indulgent hedonism. There was cigarettes and drag, friends and weed, but there sure as fuck wasn’t things like ‘the one’, ‘true love’ or fucking ‘monogamy’. Why the fuck had they even tried to be exclusive, if he wanted to bang every Asian twink he could find while Katya was gone? She was fine with that. What she wasn’t fine with was this eternal pretense and lying and cheating and FUCK. 

“I heard.”

Katya glanced up to find her favorite dominatrix making her way down the steps to the smoking area. She stood up from the ground and went to help her. The steps hadn’t been easy with her jellies, so they must've been a nightmare with the high stilettos Violet was wearing. 

"Forget the douche. He’s a dick. He’s a dickdouche."

Katya chuckled at the words and pulled Violet into a hug. 

“You’ll fuck me later, right?”

Violet laughed at the question. She could always trust Katya to prioritize correctly. Apparently even if heartbroken. 

“Of course. But bitch, don’t touch my hair.”


	7. Sharon & Alaska : "You know I’ll kill him if he hurts you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friendship

Alaska fixed the Kelvin knot on Sharon’s tie and smiled. 

“That’s better.” 

“You were always a lot better at them.”

“I just had more practice at tying them on you.” 

Sharon chuckled and knew it was true. She had never tied one around Alaska’s neck. 

“The groom ready?” the officiant asked and Alaska smirked. 

“As ready as she’ll ever be.” 

Their eyes locked and Sharon knew that what ever would happen, whether or not he would spend the rest of his life with the person waiting for him to get ready, Alaska would be there. Alaska was always there.  
“I love you,” Sharon whispered and pulled the best man into a tight hug. 

“I love you too,” Alaska replied and squeezed the groom. "You know I’ll kill him if he hurts you." 

Sharon chuckled. She had no doubt about it. 

“It’s more likely I hurt him.” 

“Touché,” Alaska said. It was true after all. 

“Ready?” the officiant hurried them along and Alaska nodded for Sharon. 

“Ready.”


	8. Katya / Alaska : "You seem like a friendly face, mind if I sit with you?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff

"You seem like a friendly face, would you mind terribly if I sit with you?"

Alaska glanced up to Katya and frowned.

“What now?”

“The weather has been lovely for the past couple of days, wouldn’t you agree?”

Alaska placed the eyeliner she was holding on the dresser and turned to face her lover.

“Okay, I give up, what’s going on?”

“I’m merely making conversation, my dear.”

Alaska didn’t believe her for a second.

“Alright.”

“The weather, my love, what do you think about the weather?”

Alaska glanced outside and then at Jinkx whose reflection she could see in the window. The redhead shrugged, equally confused.

“I guess it’s fine.”

“Fine? What a useless word. The weather is so many things in this lovable country, among my many favorite idioms, it is currently, according to my colleague here, raining cats and dogs.”

Jinkx burst out laughing. Alaska sighed.

“Katya, just get to it. Before I fucking smack you.”

“So vulgar, my darling, but alright, if you insist.”

Katya grinned widely and spread her arms.

“We are being rained on by pussy and bitches people, pussy and bitches!”

Alaska sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. Sometime, _just sometimes_ she wished she’d fallen for someone more standard in their comedy, like Bianca, or Trixie, or even Alyssa fucking Edwards.

“Was that all?” she asked Katya, who flashed her a toothy grin.

“That’s all.”


	9. Ginger Minj / Katya : “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” “I’m not jealous.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unrequited love

_there’s a fat girl in the corner_  
_and she’s the office clown_  
_the life and soul of parties_  
_never easy to weigh down_

  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”  
  
Ginger glances up to Trixie and snorts in annoyance.  
  
“Girl, please,” she says and brushes Trixie off. Because she’s right.  
  
Katya is sitting next to Violet and they’re practicing their dance. To Ginger, right at this moment, the bright pink walls feel depressing.  
  
*  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”  
  
Ginger glances up to Pearl and snorts in annoyance.  
  
“Girl, please,” she says and brushes Pearl off. Because she’s right.  
  
Katya is being applauded on the stage. She’s being hugged and touched by multiple queens; queens Ginger knows Katya admires and loves. Katya really deserves the win of Miss Congeniality, and Ginger wishes she could touch Katya the same way other queens do. She also wishes she could get a similar response from her, a reaction of sexual tension.  
  
*  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”  
  
Ginger glances up to Alyssa and snorts in annoyance.  
  
“Girl, please,” she says and brushes Alyssa off. Because she’s right.  
  
Katya has been following Alaska around in the work room like a cat in heat. For most people in the room it’s adorable to watch. To Ginger it’s annoying.  
  
*  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”  
  
Ginger glances up to the other queen, _What’s her name again?,_ and snorts in annoyance.  
  
“Girl, please,” she says and brushes her off. Because she’s right.  
  
Katya is making out on the sofa with one of the UK-tour roadies. It’s all in good fun and the guy claims to be completely straight. But who wouldn’t love Katya? Or at least be charmed by the pure sexual allure she radiates. Ginger knows, she’s a victim herself.  
  
*  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”  
  
“For fuck sake, leave me alone! I’m not jealous!”  
  
“Whoa, girl, what’s wrong?” Katya says and Ginger wants the ground to swallow her.  
  
“Nothing. Just on the edge, sorry.”  
  
“I’ll say,” Katya nods. “I just thought it looked like you wanted the roadie for yourself.”  
  
Ginger glances at Katya.  
  
“Girl, go fuck him. I’ll find a ‘Ginger Minj -race chaser’ from the crowd.”  
  
“Thanks girl, you’re a doll!” Katya smirks and gives Ginger a hug.  
  
  
_there’s a fat girl in the corner_  
_and for once she’s had enough_  
_things have gone pear shaped_  
_she wants someone to love_  
_overworked, overeaten and overweight_  
_a 20 something fat cat_  
_who never got her bait_

(poem by Scottee, UK Drag artist)


	10. Adore / Violet : “Rise and shine motherfucker.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff

“ADORE! FOR FUCKS SAKE!”

 

Adore recognises that voice. At least she thinks she does. It’s Bianca.

 

“Get the fuck up. RIGHT. NOW!”

 

It’s definitely Bianca.

 

Adore opens her eyes and is attacked by the sun light. She squints her eyes at the light and realises that there is a body in the bed with her. Well, a person. She doesn’t think they’re dead. And if they are, it happened very recently because they’re still warm.

“You have two minutes before I go downstairs and ask the hotel staff to come open this door!”

 

“Adore, honey, please answer?”

 

That’s Courtney. Why are they behind her door at, she glances at her phone, 9.30AM?

 

“I’m awake!” she calls out and the banging at the door stops.

She realises her tour bus is leaving at 9.30. Shit, did she miss the tour bus? No, she couldn’t have. Bianca and Courtney are both behind her door. So the bus must’ve… fuck. The bus is delayed because of her? No wonder Bianca sounds angry.

 

She crawls up from the bed and opens the door. Bianca and Courtney storm into the room like a pair of overprotective parents. Courtney strokes Adore’s cheek and Bianca goes to the bed, pulling off the covers.

 

“Rise and shine motherfucker,” Bianca tells the naked form revealed in Adore’s bed.

 

Adore stares in awe. She slept with that? So beautiful! And she can’t remember it?! For fucks sake! She really needs to get a grip. She can’t keep hooking up with gorgeous beings and not remember it! Especially this thing on the bed, so handsome.

 

The boy on the bed groans and brings his hand to protect his eyes from the sunlight. He turns and doesn’t seem at all bothered that he’s being stared down by three sets of eyes. He seems completely comfortable, and Adore can’t but to admire his confidence. Shit. So hot. She wishes she could remember.

 

“Beat it queen!” Bianca barks and Adore halts. _Queen?_

 

The boy gets up and collects his clothes.

 

“Wait, wait!” Adore interrupts him. “I a… did we, uh...” she struggles to articulate.

 

The boy smirks. “Yeah, we did. Don’t worry, we were safe,” he says kindly.

 

“I’m, I’m Adore,” Adore says. She wants to know his name. She just has to. She wants to track him down later. To apologise. To talk. To make friends. To make more than friends.

 

“I know. I’m Violet,” the boy says and Adore is in love. It’s love, surely, this immediate attraction to him when Adore is sober, this feeling of understanding and connection and- “Violet Chachki.”

 

“Violet,” Adore repeats in awe. She wants her, him, her, it doesn’t matter. It finally doesn’t fucking matter! Them! She wants them.

 

“Adore, get dressed. NOW.”

 

Adore looks at her surroundings. Courtney is packing her stuff. Bianca is holding a t-shirt for her to put on.

 

“Sorry about my folks,” she says to Violet, smirking.

 

“That’s alright, I’ll see you later,” Violet answers.

 

“But where?!” Adore yells after Violet as she rushes outside the door.

 

“Oh, you know,” Violet shrugs and disappears behind the door.

 

“I’m in love,” Adore announces.

 

“Yeah yeah, put these on,” Bianca says and throws her a pair of jeans.

 

It’s a good day.


	11. Alexis Michelle & Violet Chachki : “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using cheesy pick up line?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friendship fluff

Alexis has been building up courage the entire evening. She never hits on anyone in clubs, because the reception is poor in 85% of the cases. Tonight she’s promised Aja to make an effort. Because “you need to put yourself out there”. She has Peppermint for backup as well, in case she gets her feelings hurt. Peppermint has promised that if all goes to shit, they can go back to hers and watch Netflix and eat ice cream. But first she needs to make an effort. She approaches the guy at the bar and leans in.

 

"Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"

 

The guy takes one look at her and smiles. 

 

“Um, I’m a lawyer, so out of your league, in every way,” he says and walks away. 

 

Alexis sighs. What was she thinking? This is never going to work. 

“Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using a cheesy pick up line?”

Alexis turns her head and is surprised to be face to face with Violet Chachki. She looks amazing out of drag. Of course, she looks amazing in drag as well, but at the moment she’s wearing just a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. 

Alexis chuckles awkwardly. 

 

“Hi, yeah, I guess.” 

 

“Come on, I’ll buy you a shot,” Violet says and gestures the bartender, who arrives immediately, ignoring other customers. Alexis figures that’s the type of service most RuGirl get and can expect. 

 

“Gin?” Violet asks and Alexis nods. She doesn’t like gin but whatever. 

 

They down the shots and Violet grabs her hand. 

 

“Let’s dance,” she says and drags Alexis to the dance floor. 

 

Alexis takes notice how there’s more attention to them now. People try to dance with them, but Violet ignores them. 

 

“The trick is to look like you really don’t want them,” Violet whispers.

“But I do,” Alexis says. 

 

Violet laughs at her honesty. 

 

“No you don’t, not these guys,” she says confidently. “You want the guy at the bar, he’s been looking at you since you arrived.”

 

“Who?” Alexis asks and tries to turn but Violet prevents her. 

 

“Not yet, you idiot! Right now, you’re here, with me and trust me girl, it is only a good thing,” she says and smirks. 

 

Alexis shakes her head. She’s never understood these games. 

 

“Now, look at him.” 

 

Alexis turns to look and is met with a pair of brown eyes across the dance floor. 

 

“Should I go over?”

 

“Fuck no! Let him come here.”

 

“How do you know that he will?”

 

Violet laughs. “He will.” 

 

After three more songs, he does. Aja would be proud.  


	12. Trixie / Alaska: "You deserve it. No one deserves it more than you do."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the PRECINCT DTLA All Stars 2 Finale viewing.

“For fucks sake,” Trixie muttered as she failed to locate any paper in the toilet. She shook her hands to make them little dryer before wiping them between her thighs, hoping that her dress would cover the wet marks. She stepped out from the tiny toilet reserved for staff and was surprised to find the shelf where she’d placed Cheryl empty. She glanced around and couldn’t locate the fur piece anywhere. Had someone stolen the damn thing?  

She looked around once more and noticed that the door to the smoking area was ajar. Someone had placed a slipper to the door chink to prevent it snapping locked and as Trixie stepped closer she could hear a familiar voice. 

“I dunno, girl, I feel like it’s going to be a lot more trouble than it’s worth. It has already been awful and it’s only going to get worse.”

Trixie bit her lip and peeked outside from the door window. She sighed in relief as she spotted a familiar, blond queen pacing in the smoking are, petting and talking to Cheryl as to an old friend. 

“What if I completely fuck this up?”

Trixie sighed. She recognised the self-destructive pattern in the words, the pattern on self-doubt and insecurity. Had she known that the blond needed this kind of support tonight, she would’ve been more present throughout the evening, but she had assumed that the blond was over such thoughts. 

Trixie pushed the door open and stepped outside. Someone needed to save the blond from her own abusive thoughts.

“If someone had told me last week that I'd find you here, whispering these familiar things, talking to my little pet, smoking the same old cigarettes, I would have laughed." 

Trixie grinned as Alaska startled at her words. 

“I...”  
  
As Alaska failed to finish her sentence, Trixie sighed and walked up to her.  

“I thought you were over this?” Trixie asked quietly and wrapped her arms around the one queen she had never thought it possible to develop feelings for. Romantic feelings. When Alaska had started her ‘Justice for Trixie’-campaign during season seven, Trixie had been grateful, happy, appreciated, and as they’d gradually become closer, one drunken night had led to an awkward morning after, which in turn had developed into a series of passionate hook-ups before their first actual date. That had been months ago.

Alaska leaned into the embrace and took a deep breath. 

“I thought so too, I just...” 

“You deserve it. No one deserves it more than you do,” Trixie said firmly and got onto her toes to brush a kiss on Alaska’s lips. “Not even Katya, and that’s coming from me.” 

“You’re a little biased,” Alaska whispered, but smiled.

“Perhaps,” Trixie chuckled and shrugged. “Who isn’t when it comes to you and Katya?”


	13. Trixie / Katya: “That’s not how it worked in the 1950s.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was challenged to write Trixya sci-fi. So I did. It's smutfluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw gender/sex-bending-tomfoolery, tw katya as an alternative species (not sure what exactly, Alaska’s cousin from Glamtron?)

 

**Bettie (i[n dedication to this Violet Chachki](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NL3oViJNO0)** [ **song** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NL3oViJNO0) **)**

 

Trixie’s heavy cowboy boots thudded against the hardwood floor and as he placed his hat on the hallway rack, he could smell a fresh baked pie.

“You’re home!” Katya cried, holding a half smoked cigarette, stained with red lipstick. Her carmine, polkadot dress clashed with the bright green turtle-slippers, but the hair and makeup did justice for the 1950s fantasy.

Trixie caught the woman, as she ran into his arms, and grabbed her ass with both hands to pull her up for a hungry kiss. Katya placed the turtles on Trixie’s boots for extra balance and support.

“Dinner’s ready,” Katya said after the kiss, wiping Trixie’s lips clean from her lipstick. The man caught her thumb between his lips and sucked on it. Katya stared with wide, shocked eyes before eventually smirking. “Well, dinner is not _that_ ready.”

“I’m glad you reconsidered,” Trixie grunted and carried Katya to the kitchen. He put her down on a kitchen stool, ripped a hole into her tights and pressed his nose against her pussy. He could smell her arousal through the silky fabric, he could feel her getting wet.

“Love,” Trixie murmured against Katya’s labia. “I want you to fuck me.”

Katya giggled at the words.

“So predictable, my dear,” she said and her long black eyelashes created a shadow onto her cheeks as she lifted her skirt higher. “Make me hard, and I will.”

Trixie groaned at her tone and could already see the signs of her clitoris growing, creating a hard bulge underneath her panties. He pulled the fabric aside and took her into his mouth, fully committed to making her erect. He licked and sucked and kissed; and in a moment he no longer could fit her inside his mouth without choking. He circled his tongue around the glans and fondled the descended testicles. Katya moaned loudly and kicked Trixie’s shoulder gently, a well established sign between them. Trixie got to the floor on all fours and helped Katya lower his jeans to mid thigh. As she pushed into him, Trixie squeezed his eyes shut and hissed in a mixture of pleasure and pain. It was bound to get better – and it did.

Afterwards Katya was standing in front of the oven, staring at the black, burned pizza with tears in her eyes.

“I thought I did it perfect this time!” she cried as Trixie wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m sorry, love,” he said gently, pressing a kiss on her cheek, gently fondling the penis that was slowly receding back in between her pudendal lips. 

“Just press the rewind cooker,” he suggested softly, knowing that she wouldn’t be happy with it.

“That’s not how it worked in the 50s,” she whined but pressed the button regardless.

Trixie sighed in relief and took again notice of the scent of freshly baked pie.

“What’s with the pie?” he asked and Katya swirled excitedly in his arms.

“I found those in Wallmart!’ she exclaimed happily whilst pointing at a small silvery ball floating in the air. “They spread a scent of your choice! Do you like them?”

Trixie eyed the small flying ball, amused, and eventually turned his gaze back to Katya. It was amazing, how such a small household item could make his wife so happy.

“I love them,” he said, pulling her into a kiss.

 


	14. Alaska-centric: Alaska’s Alternative Arrangement (a.k.a Douching for Fucking Nothing?!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alaska has one wish, to be properly fucked. Is that really too much to ask?! (Alaska centric but contains Katlaska, Trixya, Pharon, Boblaska)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, there should be more song-fics for this album. Obvs not as ridiculous as this one but regardless.  
> Song: AAA Girls - When the water runs clear

 

 

_I’ll be ready for you, the next time that we meet_  
_I crave a touch of your hand, and your kiss is so sweet_  
_If my love were a ship on the ocean, I’d send a whole fleet_  
_I will do what I need to do, to make this night complete_

The UK Poundcake tour was over and the words to Slaytina remained a mystery. The fact that most fans took Alaska’s struggle as a well-practiced joke didn’t particularly add incentive for her to actually learn the lyrics. Luckily for her, drag shows rarely ran out of gays with fully charged iPhones, usually seasoned with the fastest possible data packages – anything for smoothly running Grindr, honey – enabling Alaska’s laziness through the easy access to azlyrics.com.

  
_I’ll be here with my ear to the floor_  
_Like I’ve been before_  
_Waiting for you to come inside my door_  
_I’ll be here // ’Til the water runs clear_  
_Ooooh // Bum bum bum bum_  
_’_ Til _the water runs clear_  
_Ooooh // _Bum bum bum bum__

Alaska had landed back to L.A. five hours ago. She had unpacked, undressed and made sure her regular QKK (Queen for Kai-Kai) was in town.

**Alaska:**  mine at 6?  
**Katya:**  your back?!  
**Alaska:**  *you’re. 6?  
**Katya:**  ha.ha.   
**Katya:**  abso-fucking-lutely  
**Katya:** youre not going to appreciate the fucking???  
**Alaska:**  showbiz 101: know your audience. try tracy.  
**Katya:** and tell her the context as well?   
**Alaska** : it wasn’t me who insisted on blood oaths of secrecy due to unrequited love  
**Katya:**  douché.  
**Katya:** get it?  
**Alaska:** see you at 6  
**Katya:** oh cmon! some appreciation here!!  
**Katya:**  okok. i’ll behave.  
**Alaska:** i’d rather you didn’t… behave.  
**Katya:**  ugh. ANUS.

6PM left Alaska with a nice two hour prep time. Little excessive, certainly, but she liked to enjoy herself.

The process had started two days ago with a non-dairy meal plan. At the Heathrow airport she’d ordered an artichoke salad with beans, as usual, but this time with extra mangoes because she was one, committed, and two, a fan of mangoes. In the plane, she’d slept through the meals and felt now surprisingly rested. After the shower, she’d enjoy something light with a glass of wine while listening to the newest Vera Blue album. Not quite Lana Del Rey, like Katya would’ve probably liked, but as she couldn’t get into the melancholy of Lana – Vera would have to do.

_I’m filled with feelings for you // That I just cannot hide_  
_(Just cannot hide them)_  
_I know what needs to be done // For our worlds to collide_  
_(Collide, collide)_  
_And after time and again // But still it won’t subside_  
_I feel the rush of the wave // But I just can’t keep it all inside_

  
Among her regular, as well as irregular tricks, Katya was the only one Alaska continuously went through the entire process for. Mainly because their encounters were occasional enough and because she knew that Katya loved eating ass. Katya was truly dedicated to the art, and so Alaska thought the least she could do was to be prepared, meaning, well, clean.

She picked up the espresso cup she’d finished earlier and set it into the kitchen sink before walking to the toilet.

The first time Alaska had hooked up with Katya, she'd had been a little awed at how much time Katya had spent worshiping her ass. Of course, she’d personally adored Katya’s enthusiasm and as she was fully aware that informed, considerate tops were a rarity, she wasn’t going to take any risks with Miss Zamo. That type of deal walked into Alaska’s life rarely enough.

_I’ll be here with my ear to the floor // Like I’ve been before_  
_Waiting for you to come inside my door_  
_I’ll be here // ’Til the water runs clear_  
_Ooooh // Bum bum bum bum_  
_’_ Til _the water runs clear_  
_Ooooh // _Bum bum bum bum__

  
She did her business, flushed and got into the shower, giving a grateful glance at the shower shot. She was so fucking tired of lubing up fleet enemas on the road and while her bowel certainly appreciated the normal saline, jumping up and down, hoping not to leak all over your thighs was such a hassle sometimes. Moreover, she didn’t want to even think about the occasion she'd accidentally bought a water-based lube instead of silicone one in Manchester – now that had been an unpleasant surprise. Right now, though, she could just reach for her own reliable brand and get started. In short, Alaska had seriously missed home.

With the shower shot, she first checked the temperature, then the pressure and made sure she was ready and relaxed. With bulb douches she’d gotten accustomed to two or three expulsions, but with the shower kit she went slow, enjoying the process that most people would have described either unpleasant or disgusting. The reality, however, was that she was a human being that defecated like rest of her species and in order to enjoy raunchy anal sex meant that one had to engage with certain cleaning practices – preferably until the water ran clear.

_I FEEL IT COMING_  
_I just can’t hold it inside // I’m letting it go tonight_  
_I’ll be here // With my ear to the floor_  
_(Ooooh)_  
_Just like I’ve been before_  
_(Ooooh yeah)_

Alaska had just taken a seat on the living room sofa and taken the first sip of her wine when her phone vibrated.

**Katya:** raincheck? life turbulence the unpreventable kind  
**Katya:**  im begging for forgiveness, your royal highness

Alaska stared at the text and sighed. Of course. Everything had been _too_  perfect. Something was bound to go wrong. She rolled her eyes, too annoyed at Katya to reply and scrolled through her contact list.   
  
_Ah... Perfect._  
  
She swiped to call her favorite pocket gay, who coincidentally owed her one.

“Oh my god, baby! What’s up?” Sharon picked up and Alaska frowned.

“Since when are you allowed to answer Phi Phi’s phone?”

“Technically,” Sharon chuckled. “I’m not.”

“Figures,” Alaska snorted.

“So, what’s up?”

Alaska was silent for a moment.

“I called to talk to Pheebs…”

“Fine,” Sharon cackled. “Don’t tell me. HONEY!”

Alaska had to bring the phone further from her ear as Sharon raised her voice to call her travel-sized boyfriend, who eventually had the decency to accept Alaska’s call.

“Oh my god, Alaska, I’m so sorry,” Phi Phi said immediately and Alaska chuckled.

“You can make it up for me.”

Phi Phi was silent, clearly confused, but Alaska had no time to explain. Her libido needed satisfying.

“You remember the time you promised to set me up with someone well equipped?”

“Yeah, and you started an unnecessarily long rant about how you didn’t want my sloppy seconds, even if I was happy to accept yours – _that time?_ ”

The sarcasm was evident and Alaska swallowed.   
  
“I might’ve been little tipsy at the time,” she admitted, trying to sound remorseful.   
  
At the time Katya hadn’t been a flaky bastard and Alaska hadn’t considered that she might need Phi Phi’s pimp services on a later date. She blamed the alcohol.

“Nah, man, it’s alright,” Phi Phi chuckled after a while. “So, you up for that now?”

“Urgently. Like, within an hour or two would be brilliant. For a full course meal, please.”

Phi Phi was again silent for a moment before erupting into a loud, bubbly laughter.   
  
“Girl, you got stood up? You!?”

Alaska rolled her eyes. “Do keep twisting the knife,” she snorted.  

Phi Phi took a deep breath to stop the laughter.   
  
“Sorry girl, for real,” Phi Phi said but didn’t sound too sad. “I’ll ask if she’s in town.”  
  
“Thanks, appreciated.”

_I’ll be here with my ear to the floor // Like I’ve been before_  
_Waiting for you to come inside my door // I know just what it takes_  
_And I’m raising the stakes // I won’t tell you the way_  
_That it churns and it aches_  
_I’ll be here // I’ll be here_  
_’_ Til _the water runs clear_  
_Yeah yeah yeah_  
_’_ Til _the water runs clear_  
_Yeah_  
_’_ Til _the water runs clear_

It was exactly 57 minutes later that Alaska opened the door and leaned against the frame, raising her eyebrows at the handsome man standing on her doorstep.

“You look stunning,” she drawled. “Thanks for coming.”

“Cuming?” Bob asked and cocked her brows with a wide grin. “Looking forward to it.”

* *

Katya Zamolodchikova’s phone vibrated in her rear pocket.

**Alaska:** your replacement

Katya stared at the picture of a massive black dick on the screen and swore colorfully. Wasn’t it enough that Trixie had crashed her car? No, apparently on top of that, Katya's favorite QKK was getting fucked by black dude instead of her. Jesus fucking Christ on crutches, Tracy-train-wreck-Martel was going to make this up for her. On her knees.  _Literally_.


End file.
